


Silence

by enthusiasticegg



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A moment of weird inspiration I guess, Death, Dreambubbles, F/M, I don't know why I wrote this, I'm Sorry, It's really just Aradia thinking, Mentions of Aradia/Sollux, Okay I'm done with tagging now, What am I doing, While sitting next to Eridan, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2044245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enthusiasticegg/pseuds/enthusiasticegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't smile.<br/>That was the first thing you noticed about him. In fact, you noticed that he never really shows emotions at all. You could say that this was what drew you to him, but you'd be lying.<br/>The truth is, you don't know why you're here. You've never known. You're pretty sure it's nobody's idea of a good time to sit in the same place next to the same person with the same sickening silence ringing through your ears every day for-<br/>God, how long have you been here for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence

He doesn't smile.

That was the first thing you noticed about him. In fact, you noticed that he never really shows emotions at all. You could say that this was what drew you to him, but you'd be lying.  
The truth is, you don't know why you're here. You've never known. You're pretty sure it's nobody's idea of a good time to sit in the same place next to the same person with the same sickening silence ringing through your ears every day for-

God, how long have you been here for?

You glance to your left. He's still there. You didn't think he would move. It was more of a reflex. If you turn away from him for even a split second, will that stoic frown on his face change even for just a moment? You doubt it.

Sometimes you think about leaving. You don't care to be here, and obviously you are not wanted. So why do you stay? Do you like being ignored? Having your prescence not even acknowledged?  
It's better than having everyone you once knew cringe at the sight of you you suppose.

Sometimes you wonder if you should speak. Maybe he's waiting for you to say something first? A little voice in the back of your mind tells you that's not it. Then why?  
And the silence stretches on endlessly like the ocean you were sitting in front of.

You're positive that the beach you two were perched on held some kind of significance to him. Surely it wasn't just 'Seadweller? You'll go nicely on a never ending stretch of sand,' right? You're almost afraid to ask.

Turning your mind from your thoughts, you study him closely. He doesn't even throw a glance in your direction. You were never one to hold an ounce of shame in your body, so you openly stare at him.  
Once upon a time, you would have never found him to be attractive. The murderous glint in his once-living eyes had always reminded you of a certain girl whom you were not very fond of. But now? You aren't sure what your boundaries of likes and dislikes are.

Maybe it's just all of the silence getting to your head, but you find him beautiful like this.

You aren't sure if it's the way his hair is slicked back, only barely ruffled when a slight breeze passes you by. Maybe it's the way his thick glasses are perched on his slightly crooked nose. The curve of his lips, the way he sets his jaw, the way he hugs his knees to his chest as if him letting go meant that he would be alone again.

Your eyes widen slightly.

You can't remember how long you've been here, but how long has he been alone? You wonder if anyone has found him. You wonder if anyone has even tried. Even you only came across this place by accident.  
Maybe that's why your heart wrenches at the thought of leaving. You can remember the first time he saw you clearly play out in your mind. He didn't speak a word. You understood the expression in his eyes though. When the initial shock had passed, it faded into disappointment, and then to nothing at all. You wonder if he was waiting for someone who never came.

You exhale a near silent breath of laughter. It was short-barely audible to even you. But, you suppose when you've heard nothing but waves crashing over themselves, a new sound is something noticed. He looks at you through the corner of his eye, not even turning his head.

You found it ironic. Who were you, a lowly rustblood, to a seadweller? Absolutely nothing. He never spoke once to you while you were both living. You remember his cold, unwavered gaze when he first saw your metallic body. He didn't care who you were or how you lived. You were the girl who was friends with the yellowblood whom he argued with. Nothing more.

Yet, not having any contact with each other throughout all of your sweeps, it's you sitting here, on a beach, in utter silence, next to him. Maybe he craves somebody around so much that a girl he never noticed would suffice. You add that to your newly-created list of reasons why he's beautiful.

He stopped looking at you, probably annoyed now. Or maybe not. You don't know anything about him. How does he react to people? How does he speak? You heard he was a grump from your mutual friends, but what exactly does that entitle? You suppose it's futile to sit here wondering about it.

Is this what pitying feels like? You aren't sure. It's been too long since you last felt anything of the sort that wasn't artificial. Is it possible to pity someone you've never once spoken to? It seems a little far-fetched.  
Yet you can't help but wonder. Of course, you are well aware that the feeling is not mutual. It doesn't upset you to think so, either. Either way, you find yourself content sitting here.

You're curious as to when the day one of you will become sick of the other's company will come upon you.

Or, maybe that day has already passed and neither one of you have said a thing? It seems likely, but you just don't know. You want to know what he's waiting for. You want to know what you're waiting for. Somehow, you just know that neither of those things will ever come.

Does he ever feel angry like you did? Like you do now? You recall the sick, helpless feeling that never settled well with you. There were days you felt like crying and screaming and never ceasing to do so. You desperately wanted to.

But you had a job to do. If it was something that you could have brushed to the side and never thought about again, you would have done so in a heartbeat, but it wasn't that simple. It's never that simple.  
The lives of your friends were in your dead hands.

You shake those memories off. Despite the fact that most of them are dead now, including the one you were sitting next to, those were thoughts you didn't want to have. It was painful. None of them deserved it.  
You steal a glance once again. He's hung his head, staring at his hands that were nearly buried in the sand. The peaceful atmosphere was welcomed to you in the beginning, but it's only driving you mad every minute that passes you by.

Maybe it was time for you to take your leave.

The thought made you cringe, but you sigh and remove your shoes anyways. Dropping them down, you stand and take a few steps forward. Your toes are slapped with freezing water.

You're sure you both know what you're doing now. Something different, something permanent. You turn back and flash him a small smile. You want him to know it's not his fault, but you can't find any words to say. You hope he understands. But then, you falter.

In all of your time here, he hasn't shown any emotion. It's been the same stoic face everyday, and you were accustomed to it. But it's different now.  
Eridan was crying.

You weren't sure how to handle this. He was staring you directly in the face. His mouth was gaped open as if he wanted to say something, but no sound came out. You don't know why this affected you like it did. It felt like your heart was being shredding, your stomach felt like you were going to vomit.

Your resolve was melting away and it hadn't been a full minute since you made your intentions clear. Violet streaks down pale cheeks was all it took to break you. You stood frozen in your spot.

"Please don't leave me."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what I'm doing.


End file.
